Celebrating Mom and Learning about Vitamin "L"

Today is my Mom's 70th birthday. I want to wish her a happy birthday and for her to understand that as each year goes by for both of us I love and understand her more. I understand her more because I understand myself more.

I am once again 2000 miles away as one of my parents crosses a milestone birthday. I moved away from my hometown at age 18 1/2. Back then I really thought I knew what I was doing; somehow moving that far away didn't seem significant. I would not trade that move for anything because I would not have met my husband who is truly my best friend and soul mate. However I feel sometimes split in two, and a longing to be there for my parents when they really need me. Work requirements and finances only allow me to see them about every 18 months. 

My mom, well she is beautiful, complex, talented and I know that she does not know how much she is loved and appreciated.  At this time in her life when she was expecting some sort of retirement she and my dad are working harder than ever. Like many people their age the economy has made it so they can't retire. 

My memories of mom when I was younger, she sang and hummed while working at home and at their business. She always had home cooked meals for us and always made every occasion special with homemade gifts and decorations. She made blankets and quilts, for friends and family and for new babies. She sewed a whole wardrobe for my many Barbie Dolls; which included everything from casual clothing to glamorous evening gowns. She was our Girl Scout Troop Leader. She even did preserves in the summer for our pantry and freezer. Various veggies, fruits, and breads filled the shelves so that their budget could stretch to feed us year round. 

One of my best memories is a castle she helped me make for a 6th grade project. I am sure she did most of the work on it and I am sure the ideas were mostly her's as well. The castle had four turrets, and was complete with a drawbridge, soldiers, and flags. I would have to ask my mom but I think it even had a moat! Such a cool mom!!!

I love to cook and she taught me that as well! I wish I had paid more attention to the food preserving, and the sewing. 

I am making my mom sound perfect; she is human and like everyone has her flaws. Like most moms you knew the rules and the things that she would not put up with; she could get you with just one look. It is her discipline that made me a better person today! Teaching right from wrong and following through with consequences when rules are broken is something that is not really done in a lot of homes today. She did amazing things like fantastic homemade costumes for Halloween or just for playing dress-up. She is kind and has so much empathy and compassion. My mom has the ability to look at the bigger picture and fill needs and make people feel better. My parents have taken in people, or found a way to get a gift to someone less fortunate even when they really didn't have the money for things themselves. 

My parents hosted many family dinners at their giant dining room table. My mom would spend weeks planning a menu for special occasions like Thanksgiving. She would bake and cook for days leading up the meal. We would have anywhere from 25 to 50 people over for these gigantic meals. There would be Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends, neighbors, people who had nowhere else to go. My parents used to host picnics too, July 4th, Labor Day, they were more potluck but the same setting of family and friends gathered outside enjoying each other and delicious food including pot luck from everyone that came, and my Mom's pies!

One thing I think my mom is well known for is not just for being a talented florist, but for making pies! Even though she does not have the time or energy anymore to throw the giant family meals, she makes pies. Cream pies, fruit pies, pumpkin pies, rhubarb pies, and she is always inventing new recipes. It is a relaxing pastime for her to make pies and it feeds her soul to feed people pies and see their happiness when they eat a piece of pie! 

I appreciate so much how hard my parents worked to make a life for all of us. I love you mom! Happy Birthday! I am working toward being able to spend much more time with both of you very soon! 

Vitamin L (love) is something that I definitely got from both parents. You need Vitamin L in your life from your relationships to have spiritual and emotional well being, it is just as important as good nutrition and exercise. We have been fortunate to find Vitamin L with both sets of parents, and with our friends both inside and outside of Argentine Tango. Love, relationships, nutritious food, and physical activity all have to be in balance. My healing has been taking place in small steps with all of these things being part of it. When you foster a positive outlook and gratitude it all pulls together and gives you a new appreciation for life and the energy you need to keep healing and help others. 

Where Do Power and Weakness Come From?

This morning I was lying in bed listening to a show about innocence lost due to political corruption in the name of the politicians gaining more power. Saddened by yet another example of corrupt power it really got me thinking where do my power and my weakness come from? As I continue on my journey of healing my whole self I realize that my empowerment comes from the positive side of life. This past year I have felt the most power from love, kindness, socializing, lending a helping hand, hugs and dancing the Argentine Tango! By leaving the house no matter how much I wanted to crawl back inside myself and hide. I just kept pushing forward, making new friends, making eye contact in public and having conversations, exchanging kind glances and smiles. Power also came from accepting help from others. I let go of stubbornness and started both asking for and accepting help and finally admitting I couldn't do it all myself. Everywhere I've gone in the last year I've connected with positive people and have had my batteries completely recharged by them. On the opposite end of this is a large portion of my former life for the past 15 years. My weakness came from anger, sadness, giving in to depression, overeating for comfort, being a hermit and refusing to accept or ask for help. The past 15 years have had moments of beautiful positive power where I was able to connect and briefly snap out of it, but I would eventually just slide back and give in to my weaknesses. I must now give a testimony to what I believe helped me (us) the most.  It is our Argentine Tango Community, especially our teacher Mercedes. In addition to excellent instruction, she provides a positive, inviting environment where you can let down your guard and begin to open up and heal. This is so much more than a dance; it is culture, history, art, music, etiquette, friendship, therapy, exercise, and love. Thank you to my husband for taking me on a date night. Thank you to Mercedes, and to all of the friends that I have made. Thank you to Andy and Olimpia for providing a place that we can gather weekly to Milonga and socialize. We have a lovely community here in Hampton Roads. You all have permanently changed my life and given me power to pass that change on to others, one person at a time! ©